Love's To Blame
by SDMS135
Summary: Going their separate ways was not a decision taken by either of them, but they'd both agreed for the sake of their chosen family. Jules choosing the job over Sam torn her but she'd managed to move past her feelings, or she thought. Sam couldn't take it anymore and the entire team was falling apart, Jules in particular. Is he lost to her forever? One-shot.


**First Flashpoint Fic, hope you like this and please review! Will add new chapters depends on the response I get.**

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Greg was greeted by light chatters as he walked into the Barn, his hands occupied with coffees fresh from Timmy's, "Ladies," he said, offering a warm smile as Donna and Winnie ceased their conversation and turned to look at him.

"Look at that," Donna grinned, taking her favorite coffee with two milks from Greg, "How was your weekend?"

"It was great," Greg replied, tipping his head slightly that he'd be looking at Donna, putting a layer of seriousness in his voice, his expression mirroring his sound, "but I missed your smiling faces."

Donna chuckled while Greg managed a small smile at his own half-hearted joke, it takes humor to be a negotiator as good as himself. He picked up a cup of black coffee and handed it to Winnie, who quickly bid her thanks and set it on her desk.

"Sam, ice-cape." Greg said, taking in the young man who walked at him. Sam wasn't wearing his typical cocky grin, which was strange for someone with fantastic for middle name, but Greg brushed it off. The man probably just didn't have a great weekend, it happens sometimes.

Sam simply nodded at him, taking the cup from Greg's outstretched hand. He looked at it somewhat uncertainly, but Greg failed to notice as he turned once again so Spike could grab his. "How was your break?"

Sam shrugged, muttering his thanks and turned, his back facing Greg. The other man said something to Donna, but Sam paid no mind to it, his fingers fumbling around his cup somewhat awkwardly. Again, his uncharacteristic quietness was unnoticed.

That's when his whole body tensed.

He knew she was there before he heard it, before his sharp hearing picked up her voice, or her light footsteps. Somehow, he just knew she was there, like he could feel her.

"Hey, where's my double double?" She said, her melodic voice playfulness. Sam didn't need to see her to know she was grinning. He almost ran to her and opened his arms, knowing that she'd launch herself into his embrace, her small arms wrapped around him tightly. But he didn't, instead, he had to fight himself to resist the urge to do so. Something that had became so natural to him in the past months, like a second nature, something he'd done for countless times that it'd became his body's first reaction at the sense of her presence.

But he didn't.

His chest ached at the sound of her voice, at the smile tugged on her lips, at her beautiful brown eyes that used to stare at him full of light and love, so intensely that he'd find himself melting at her gaze, the rest of the world long forgotten, but her, in that brief moment, in their own world.

It was the one thing, the only thing he needed, to lighten up hi crappy day, to make all his worries go away, to fill him with happiness and joy. Yet it only brought him pain.

His chest was aching, and she was smiling, ripping his heart to pieces.

He wanted to run to her, to embrace her, to just _look_ at her, taking the beautiful view into his eyes, something he'd find himself able to keep doing for hours. Yet he wanted to turn away, to ignore her, to run so fast that he'd be out of her sight before she'd open her mouth again, before her angelic voice could fill his ears again, killing him slowly, second by second, piece by piece.

Reluctantly, he turned, facing her for the first time in nearly two weeks, after she left him in that damned café, alone and frozen. That night, he'd walked back to his apartment, opened the door, and punched a hole on his wall, grabbing and smashing everything he'd see until his kitchen was completely trashed, filled by shattered glasses and plates.

Then, he almost broke down right there. He had wanted to cry, to run to her house, the same route he'd taken countless times, the same route that had imbedded itself into his mind, to hold her tightly and never let her go again, to beg her to give them another chance, to not leave him, to tell her that he'd do anything to keep them together, because it meant his everything.

But he didn't.

He refused to shed his tears for her, to run back to her after she'd dumped him hours early like garbage. His mind went blank after she walked out, he sunk into his seat in the café and stayed there until he lost track of time, he wouldn't believe what happened, he _couldn't._

Numbly he stood, walking out of the café, wondering down the streets alone, how he managed to get back to his apartment without being hit by a car was beyond him. Maybe he wished it did, at least that way all the pain would end, no more suffering to endure.

He'd drunk himself to sleep that night, his body long collapsed in the middle of his trashed kitchen, bottle after bottle of bear, until he didn't have the strength to reach for another one.

For a second, when he woke up the next morning, he'd thought everything was alright, that they were still _alright._ It only took another second for the last evening's event to come back to him, the pain returning to his chest full force.

He didn't have shift that day, so he did the most natural thing that occurred to him. He'd turned to the bottles, again. Bottle after bottle, until he'd downed the entire stock of beer that was meant for another month. But he didn't stop. The pain was still there, burning in his chest, tearing his heart apart.

He only rose briefly, only to sit back down with a bottle of Whiskey. He couldn't take it anymore, he needed it to go away, he needed to be numbed.

He discarded the emptied bottle of Whiskey, letting the glass shatter against his floor. He considered finding something even stronger, maybe the bottle of Vodka he'd stacked. In the end, he barged into his living room, then his bathroom, then his bedroom, grabbing everything she owned, everything that reminded him of her.

He was determined to get rid of all her stuff, to erase everything that marked her presence, to be free of her. Her smile, her sound, her scent.

But he didn't.

No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't bring himself to.

So he put them back, to where he'd found them, carefully, his finger caressing whatever he could get his hands on so gently, so lovingly, as if she was still there. He saw a photo of her, smiling. The sun was bright in that particular afternoon, and they'd went on a date, one of the few times they ever did. He found himself on that day again. She was laughing, and he was mesmerized by her.

It was the only photo of the two of them together he owned. He wanted to break down right there, to collapsed on the ground, the cry his eyes out, the scream until his voice broke.

And he did.

 **Line Break**

Jules smiled as she embraced Greg. She missed him, and everything about SRU.

She loved her job, the job that she'd worked so hard for, the job that gave her a sense of purpose, the job that gave her the family she desired.

 _And the job she chose over Sam._

Jules shook her head to herself, glad that nobody noticed it. She was convinced that what she did was right, for both of them, and she still was. Only she never thought it'd hurt, so much.

The words left her mouth before she knew what happened. It was the first time she told him she loved him. He said it wasn't how he expected it. It wasn't how she expected it either.

She wanted to utter those three little words to him, so many times, and she'd worked up her courage to do so. But she was a coward, she was too afraid to say it, to admit how much she needed him, to confess how much he meant to her.

She loved him, she knew it, and it hadn't changed, not a bit.

She'd heard those words from him before, only he didn't know.

But she did.

It was after she was shot, he'd rushed to the hospital as soon as he could, and stayed by her side for the whole time. Lou left, Spike left, Wordy left, Ed left, even Sarge left, but he never did. He was there, for her, holding her hand tightly, caressing her cheek gently, never leaving her, not for one second.

He told her how sorry he was. How scared he was when he saw her being shot in front of his eyes, how helpless he felt as she bled out, how angry he was at the sniper who hurt her, and how ashamed he was, with himself. For not staying behind with her, for not protecting her, for not letting her have the shield.

He told her he loved her then, so many times. He begged her to wake up, to open her brown eyes again, to let him know she was there, with him.

It was the one moment she'd dreamed of for so long, yet she was scared by his confession.

He didn't know she'd heard him, and she pretended she didn't, so she didn't have to deal with it.

She saw him just as he felt her, standing by the desk, his back facing her. She held her breathe, and her heart stopped. She almost ran to him, to launch herself into his warm embrace, knowing his arms'd be open for her, to feel him, his strong arms hooked around her firmly. She could stay there with him for hours, and she did, for more times than she cared to admit.

She wanted to cry into his neck, to hold him tightly, to tell him how sorry she was, for not being there, when he stayed with her for the whole time, for choosing the job over her, to beg him to forgive her and take her back, to tell him how much she loved him.

But she couldn't, and she wouldn't. She couldn't give up her job, or her chosen family, not even for him. She thought she couldn't do it, to fight something she'd done so many times that it became natural, to embrace him tightly and never let go.

But she did.

Her eyes stayed with Greg, doing her best to cover up the sadness threatening to overwhelm her. She'd put on her best fake smile, a mask that deceived everyone, even herself. She could still see him, at the corner of her eyes, and she was back in that café again.

She remembered that look on his face, she saw it, in his eyes, his loving blue eyes. She couldn't see anything, beyond the hurt that had washed over him. It only took him a brief second to slide on his mask, covering all the emotions he'd felt. His face went blank, like he didn't care, but he couldn't fool himself, nor could he fool her.

His heart broke, as she stabbed him in the chest with her sharp knife, and so did hers.

She stood abruptly, and walked out of the café before she couldn't take it anymore. The pain she'd inflicted upon him, how she simply shattered both their hearts, with a decision neither of them was keen of. She wanted to throw herself into his arms then, to tell him she was sorry, that she loved her. To take back everything she'd said, and to stay with him, just like that, all of her melting at his touch, in their own world.

She thought it would be impossible, to not break down the second she stepped into her house. The same house they'd spent so many time together, or at the sight of her dry wall, her damn dry wall, with that stupid Santorini Sky, his baby blue. She chose the job over him, and she thought it would be impossible to not cry herself to sleep that night. To stay indifferent to the world.

But she did.

For a second, when she woke up the next morning, she'd thought everything was alright, that they were still _alright._ It only took another second for the last evening's event to come back to her, the anger, the guilt, the pain, all at once.

She swept through her house, grabbing everything alcoholic she'd seen, ripped off the cap, and downed the content in one rough, painful swallow. She'd brought a bucket of yellow paint then, right there in front of that stupid dry wall.

She had fully intended to get rid of the blue, _his_ blue, and erase the evidence of him ever being there. To put him behind her, to bury every piece of beautiful memory they'd ever shared. To forget him, everything about him, every single detail that she'd memorized in the past months. She brought up the bucket of yellow paint with the full intention to cover the Santorini Sky.

And she didn't.

She kicked it over instead, frustrated at herself, at how stupid she was, at how scared she was, at how selfish she was.

 **Line Break**

His body tensed at the sight of her, he did his best to hide it, but she knew him too well. Right then, she knew that he didn't want to have anything to do with her ever again. He wanted to run out of the barn until she couldn't catch his golden locks anymore. To ignore her existence, to avoid her like he'd been doing since that café, like she'd been doing.

She didn't know what to do. She wanted to throw her arms around him, to caress him, to tell him how much she loved him, yet she couldn't. She settled for a small step towards him instead, embracing each other in an awkward hug, their bodies barely brushing past each other before they parted again.

Sam avoided Jules' gaze, and Jules avoided his.

Then, all together, their eyes met. It was only for the briefest moment, but it was enough for them. She led him see right through her, her blankness façade falling, and he led his mask slip, the walls he so carefully built crumbling. His eyes, hot on hers, were as intense as ever. For the first time, she saw how much she'd hurt him, for she could see nothing, but pain, and beneath them, love. He never blamed her, he never stopped loving her, even after all she'd done.

She wanted to be with him then, only she couldn't.

He saw it too, in her eyes. Her big, brown eyes, the same beautiful eyes he'd fallen for the moment he saw them. Her soft gaze was fixed on him, softer than he ever remembered, soft with sorrow, sadness, regret, guilt, and, what mirrored his own, their undying, unyielding, undeniable love.

He wanted her back then, only he couldn't.

In that moment, they were back in their little world again. The rest of the world long forgotten, nothing mattered but each other. They melted under each other's gaze, taking the precious moment to enjoy each other's company. Everything was alright again, they were alright, in that moment, they were just Jules and Sam. That moment, brief yet infinite.

Then, they parted again, and that moment broke.

 **Line Break**

Greg noticed Sam was behaving strangely to say the least. He's dismissed it at first, but when he had stayed almost silent during the day, not one word uttered during their daily workout, Greg knew he had a problem. Sam opted for the treadmill at the corner of the room, the speed of the machine was set ridiculously high, sweet streaking down his cheek.

He stayed there for hours as the end of their shift approached, and Greg decided to find out what was going on with him. He was broke out of his thoughts when Sam approached.

"Boss," Sam said, his was hesitant and his body language was tense, his eyes fill with uncertainty and he looked as if being there was the last thing he had in mind, "Can I talk to you for a second."

Greg nodded and jogged off the bike he'd been working on, wiping off sweat from his forehead and reaching for a bottle of water. Sam open his mouth, but he was interrupted abruptly when the sound of alarm went off in their ears.

"Team one hot call! Bravelink financial, King and Cooper, single armed gunman, multiple hostages." Winnie's voice came, breaking them off from their conversation.

"Gear up," Greg said, looking at Sam, "we can do this after we get back."

Sam only nodded.

 **Line Break**

"Good job team," Greg concluded as Team One returned to the barn. Hot calls were never easy, but the outcome of the call that day was better than what they had hoped for, hostages were secured, subject taken in custody and the gang behind the robbery was busted.

"Boss?" Sam said quizzingly. He was exhausted, Greg could tell that from both his sound and his stature. His vest was off and his arms were restocked in the armory, he'd already changed into his street clothes.

Greg nodded and pointed to the briefing room. It was empty, and the pair settled in two chairs facing each other, the tension between them was awkward.

They really should have closed the door.

 **Line Break**

"Hey Ed," Jules greeted as she walked into the barn, offering the man a quick hug, "Where's Sarge?"

Ed tilted his head aside, his eyes glancing across the barn. Jules followed his gaze and saw Sam and Greg sitting in the briefing room, she wondered what they were talking about. Her gaze landed on Sam, even though he wasn't looking at her. He was just like how she'd remembered him in the morning, his blonde hair dangling, his blue eyes intense, though the previous hurt he'd allowed her to glimpse was replaced by exhaustion, complete exhaustion, and she knew it wasn't just physical.

Ed nodded as his team gathered around them, he held up three fingers and looked at Spike, Lou and Donna, "Stealth approach," he whispered, pointing his fingers at the left side of the door. They nodded, and approached the briefing room silently.

He turned to Jules and Wordy, who understood him wordlessly after working together so long. He leaned down and made his way across the barn silently, his back pressed against the wall outside the briefing room, his ears taking in the conversation behind the walls.

"… good today." He caught Greg's voice, word flowing from his mouth in a warm, encouraging manner.

"Yeah boss, I thought so too," Sam's voice was hushed and strained, Jules caught a glimpse of him. For the first time in weeks, she could look at him properly, clearly, and she almost gasped. He looked horrible, his face was unnaturally pale, shadowy bags under his eyes, his hands shaking. His body language was tense, and Jules swore she caught his hands shaking.

"Sarge," He continued, exhaustion written over his face. She wanted to run into the briefing room, to him, and ignore the rest of the world. She wanted to lock him in an embrace and comfort him, her fingers stroking his cheek gently, only she couldn't. Her fingers came to her neck then, rubbing the pendant hanging from the silver chain around her neck instead, another piece of memory struck her.

They were enjoying dinner together, dates outside the comfort zone of her house or his apartment was rare, neither of them was keen to risk being seen by a member of their team and exposing their secret affair. She sometimes wondered if that was what it really was, an affair, two people sneaking behind their teammates and enjoying each other's company.

She certainly thought so, until they winded up in that café that cursed night, when the words left her mouth before she could help it. That's when realized, for the first time, that it was never just for the sex. It wasn't to either of them. But there was no turning back, she had made her choice, and she turned her heels away.

It was a surprise to her, she didn't expect anything from Sam that night, but he'd managed to surprise her anyway. He took her to a restaurant, delicate, elegant and cozy, and enjoyed the night with her. He'd gotten their private room for her, so they could be themselves for once, and not worry about being seen. She could remember the shimmering light of the candles, the faint scent of the roses, and the light touch of the red wine.

They'd been giggling at each other when they were done with it. She almost laughed at that piece of memory, just like she almost laughed when she saw it, the necklace he'd gotten for her, for their one month secretly-dating-anniversary.

For a second, she'd thought he was going to ask her to marry him, she joked, though it wasn't entirely untrue, because something in her stomach flipped, and she felt like a love-sick teenager again. She laughed, but he didn't, the seriousness on his face wasn't unnoticed by her, but she brushed it aside.

Or maybe he did have a ring, she thought, her chest ached when she realized she'd never find out.

He would often steal glanced at her, grinning like an idiot when nobody was looking. She noticed, of course, because she was doing just the same. Somehow, that notion warmed her heart every time she thought about it. Their relationship was never just physical, it was full of warmth and love, he'd made sure of it, so did she.

She didn't want to take it off, not even after they broke off. She'd kept it close to her, holding onto the one last piece of him she hadn't shattered. Sometimes she'd wear the chain on her wrist, and he'd tease her about it. That moment broke at the sound of his voice.

"… didn't think… get a hot call today." She only managed to grasp pieces of the dialogue. She wanted to slap herself for zoning out, she just hoped she didn't miss anything important.

"Anyway, this sounds strange even to me, but I'm glad we did," Sam's voice echoed in her ears, and curiosity overwhelmed her, "Because this was going to be my last shift."

Her heart sunk.

A loud, sharp noise came from the briefing room as Greg dropped his cup of coffee, the brown liquid splashed across the floor as the material cluttered, but he didn't care, nor did she.

"What do you mean?" Greg asked, his voice full of surprise and shock, and her heart filled with fear, hoping desperately that both her and Greg'd understood Sam wrong, but they didn't. And for once, she hoped they did.

"My dad called yesterday, he pulled some strings and he wanted me back in the special forces." Sam said, his voice was strained and low, almost quite.

"And you said yes." Greg finished the sentence for him, knowing full well what he was about to hear.

Sam nodded, "And I said yes."

There was a long pause between the two of them, neither of them willing to speak again. Jules froze on the spot, her worse fear came true, she was overwhelmed. Ed glanced at her and offered a sympathetic gaze, she didn't meet his eyes, she couldn't.

The silence remained, looming over their heads until it became unbearable.

"Why?" Greg managed, his disbelieving voice barely a whisper. He sounded wounded, so was Jules.

"After what happened in Afghanistan," Sam spoke, he sounded like his voice might break any second. It broke her heart all over again, "I was lost. I didn't know what to do with my life, I was lost. I couldn't look into the mirror every morning because I couldn't face myself, I couldn't live with myself, I couldn't come to term with what I'd done. Then I came here, and this job, it gave me a purpose again, a sense of belonging that I'd never felt again. I thought this is it, you know, that I'd finally find where I was meant to be, but I guess I was wrong. I couldn't do it anymore boss, I couldn't take it any longer, I couldn't… I couldn't come to here everyday, wear this uniform, be at this place, look at all the faces and do this job, I just couldn't. I just handed in my two-week notice to the Commander, I've got some vacation time left and I'll be back the sign the paperwork. I don't know, maybe I can find myself out there, again."

"I came in today to say goodbye," Sam finally said, inhaling a deep breathe of air sharply, "I'm leaving SRU boss, I guess is it." He said, and she couldn't take it anymore. Everything she'd felt in the past weeks, all the anger, pain, regret altogether, she couldn't no longer contain it. She stood abruptly, stepping out from her hiding spot, taking into the shock across Sam's face when he realized she'd been there all the time, hearing every word he'd said.

"Jules," He started, his voice full of sorrow, but she didn't listen, she couldn't take it anymore. She turned and bolted instead, storming pass the set of doors he'd almost did in the morning. She kept going, she didn't stop, until she'd reached her Jeep. That's when she realized she'd been crying, the rain was pouring heavily outside, but she didn't notice, she was already soaked wet, yet she didn't feel a thing.

The rain was pouring, and she was screaming at the storming sky.

She shivered when she felt it, not from the coldness, but from his touch, his gentle, warm, pleasant touch. She wanted to jerk her arm away from his grasp, but she couldn't, she led him turn her around instead. He looked at her softly, sadness was filtered off and love was the only thing she could see in his eyes, the eyes she'd found herself yearning to stare into.

"Jules…" He started again, but he never got to finish that sentence, she made sure of it. She cut him off, snapping at his, unleashing all her frustration at once.

"What?" She snapped, "If you are going to go, just go! Run back to your military for all I care, go back being best buds with your dad, leave me all alone and miserable, go!"

"Please," He pleaded, she could hear it from his voice, his desperate tone, but she shoved it aside, "Just hear me out."

"Hear you out?" She almost laughed, "Hear you out?" She repeated herself, her voice raising in an unintended aggravation, "What's there to say, Sam? I dumped you, you are leaving, end of story, period!"

"I have to do this." He said, he voice was low and strained, he looked like it'd hurt himself to say every word, it hurt her too, but none of it mattered in that moment. They were in their own world again, only in a different way from what they hoped.

"You have to do this?" She barked, her eyes glaring at him with fury, "Help me Sam, because I have no idea why!"

"I thought you knew." He said, his gaze fixed on hers, with so much intensity, full of love. He looked at her, the way he did when he first saw her, and got five guns pulled on him. Her glare broke, "I did," she whispered, it was painful to stand there, it was painful to speak, it was painful to look at him, she could keep doing it no longer, "I do," she said, and she almost stood on her toes, so she could lean in and kiss him, like she'd done so many times.

"I'm sorry," She whispered instead. She wanted to tell him how sorry she was, for abandoning him, for letting him go, for choosing the job over him, yet she didn't, she couldn't face him, not again, "I'm so sorry." She could only say, as she jumped into her Jeep, slamming the gas, not giving Sam the chance to catch up to her.

She didn't go home that night. She kept driving, letting the heavy rain pour down on her, not knowing where she was going. She kept going, until her feet had gone numb, until she could no longer keep her firm step on the gas, until she could no longer feel a thing.

She collapsed on her wheel then, the events of the last hour was too much for her to take in. She was exhausted. For the first time in years, Jules cried herself to sleep, knowing full well it was all her fault.

 **Line Break**

Jules showed up to work on the following day. It was her first day back and she already knew one thing, it's never going to be the same again. The team dynamics had shifted drastically, first with her leave, then Donna's arrival, then her return and Sam's departure. The tension was thick, she could tell it. They barely spoke a word to each other as the day progressed. Not even Spike or Lou attempted to crack a joke during their workout, or in the shooting range.

It was silent, and tense.

The tension within the team was clear, especially between her and Donna, who'd stayed on Team One after all. Jules thought the tension was going to kill her, until a hot call came in, active shooter on high school campus. It turned out to be a kid who'd had enough of bullying and finally flipped.

Rough day, tough call, poor kid, awkward atmosphere. Jules figured her first day back couldn't possibly be worse.

They say time flew quickly, but in her case, it was devastatingly painfully slow. Jules couldn't remember the last time things had been even remotely awkward between the team, and she could only describe her return to Team One as tense.

Team dynamics had changed for sure. The team members were at a cold war with each other, Team One, the pride of the city, the finest of the force, the best tactical squad in Toronto, a bond closer than family, and hardly any of them were on speaking terms with each other anymore.

It was all because she had to break up with same. She chose the job, her dearest job and look where it had gotten her. The gym was silent, the gun range was silent, the briefing room was silent. The silence was unbearable, and it was killing her.

Conversations were kept at minimal, strictly professional only. Hot calls were tense, morale was low and Jules betted it was only a matter of time before performances started to slip. It was a day from the two-week mark of her return to Team One, and Jules knew what it meant, the day held more significance than that.

Tomorrow would be the end of Sam's two-week notice, and he'd leave SRU then, not just Team One, but the police force altogether. Heck, he'd probably be in Afghanistan in a couple more days and never return to Toronto again, the city that broke his heart.

 _Rolie just had to leave the team._

They'd been working over time then, Team Five was stuck in a motel stand-off. She was paired to ride with Donna, in the same black SUV she'd spent so many silly yet lovingly pleasant moments with Sam patrolling. Tension was thick, silence was sick.

She was sickened, no, disgusted by how her team, her family, had acted like nothing was wrong. Everything was wrong, nothing was right. He wasn't there, he'd left, because of her, because she broke her heart. Yet he didn't hate her, he didn't even blame her, hell, he still loved her.

Her heart sunk once again, glancing at Donna, who'd been accepted by the team so quickly comparing to the hard time they gave to Sam when he was the rookie. She was Ed's doppelgänger, hard-working, self-driven, bad-ass leader who was cool as hell, yet Ed came to accept her and respect her so quickly.

It was wrong, she'd thought, so wrong. She tried to warm up to Donna, she really did, but she couldn't bring herself to. He hated Donna for replacing her after he failed to protect her, and she hated Donna for replacing him after she dumped him. The irony wasn't lost to her.

She was shaken to the core, by their call, by their subjects. A couple who were so desperate that they were ready to die together to be with each other. All she could think about was Sam. She gazed next to her then, fully expecting to find Sam there, gazing back at her.

Only he wasn't there.

Her best friend wasn't there, he was lost to her, she pushed him away.

She almost broke down then, but she didn't. She barged out of the barn as dawn approached, swinging herself into her Jeep before anyone could stop her. She drove without directions, like she did the night before, her car screeching at her in protest, but she ignore it.

She approached an intersection then, she had a choice to make. A left turn could have brought her home, maybe a bagel and her favorite double double from Timmy's along the way. A right turn would have done the trick to, and she could stop for gas to shut her stupid Jeep up. Even a very illegal U-turn would have served the same purpose, but she didn't.

She didn't know what was wrong with her, she didn't know why she was doing this, she didn't know why her body brought her here, yet it happened. Her legs were shaken as she pulled over, her hands were shaken as she reached for the bell, her whole body was shaking at the sound it made.

The door screeched open, and she almost fainted, her legs almost gave, her eyeballs almost rolled back, darkness almost took over her brain, but she stood her ground firmly.

Her eyes glanced up, and she took in the view of Sam's shocked expression.

For a moment, they just stayed there, looking at each other, their eyes locked, their breathes caught in their throats and their hearts paused. They were back in their own world again, like that night outside Royal York. They'd been staring at each other, her gaze on his and his eyes bored into hers. His touch was gentle, and they were close enough to pick up each other's quickened heartbeats, to feel the warmth of their breathes on their skin.

He held the door open for her, stepping aside slightly to make room for her on his crowded aisle. She took it as a silent invitation and walked in before she could lose her courage and chicken out again. He closed the door behind him, turning just as she stopped by his kitchen counter.

She'd have been surprised if she was paying any attention, because the place had changed so much since she'd last been there, only her attention was on him, and him only. He stepped towards her, his eyes quizzing. She inhaled sharply, her body was shaking, words were lost to her as her eyes bore into his, her body burning at his gaze.

"I'm having a hard time because of you," She finally said, her eyes never averting from his, "because I thought I could just walk away, I thought that I could just bury it in the back of my mind and put it behind me. I thought it would just go away. But that's the thing Sam, it's not gonna go away. I worked so hard to get the job, to be one of the guys, and I thought it was enough, and I thought it was all I needed. I thought I did the right thing, I always wanted the job I… Everyday after shift I'd go to an empty house, I never minded that, I've been cooking for myself for as long as I can remember but… I can't even bear it anymore. I guess there is an empty hole in my chest that always needed to be filled, I never knew, until you waltzed into my life. And when that void became empty again, I just couldn't take it anymore. I'm sorry Sam."

"Oh Jules," Sam whispered, stoking her hair gently, his gaze was soft. Somehow, they stepped closer to each other, like two opposite ends of magnet, being drawn to each other by the most powerful force of the universe, yearning to be one again, yearning to be whole again, yearning to be complete. His thumb touched her cheek softly and caressed her lightly, something she'd grown to love. He looked at her, the way he always did, everlasting longing surfaced in his eyes, "I don't blame you for what happened. I could never hate you, even if I'd tried to make things easier. It felt so wrong that my heart was screaming at me to stop, to come back to you, to knock on your door and hold you close, to feel you there, right next to me. And I want you to know that, I love you, I've always loved you, I still love you, and I will never stop loving you. I want you back, if you still want me."

"I still love you," She said, somehow, their faces were barely inches apart, her heart was pounding, and his gaze was on her, full of love and passion. He had looked at her that way before, she remembered it. She was floating in the dark, lost. She was confused, and drifting away. It was his voice that grounded her consciousness to reality, and guided her back, to him, in the safety of his strong arms, where home laid. Right next to him. Waking up in the hospital, she was greeted with the headache of her life, yet when she looked at him, when she looked into his eyes, when she stared into his loving eyes, somehow, she knew everything was going to be alright, "and I still want you. For there is no place in the world I'd rather be than right here, right now, in this moment, with you."

Sam thought it was the most poetic thing he'd ever heard in his life, because he was pretty sure in that moment, his heart stopped.

"So," He whispered, stepping closer into her comfort zone. She leaned in, their lips merely an inch apart, if humanly possible, his baby blue eyes darkening with burning desire. She was amazed, considering she would have shot him for this without hesitation a few months ago. Then again, she'd never imagined them ever being this close.

"So," She whispered back, leaning up on her toes she could meet him half way, the distance between them sealed, their lips, hot and damp, warm on each other, brushing gently and slowly, their fingers intertwined and bodies tangled together. Fire burnt in their bones, the ice in their veins melted, the walls around their hearts collapsed.

He lifted her up onto the counter. She gasped, her cardigan discarded and landed on the floor.

They made love that day, on the counter, on the sofa, on the mattress, until she'd lost track of count. She lied there, her head pressed against his chest, her fingers tracing circles on his bare skin as she listened to his steady, strong heartbeat.

She was happy, he was happy, they were happy. Their broken hearts healed, the void in their hearts filled, for the first time in weeks. They were back together again, only this time, she knew she wasn't going to let him go, not again.

They'd hold onto each other, and never led go.

* * *

 **Probably the most romantic story I'd written in my life, if you call this romantic. Loved it? Hated it? Leave a review or send a PM to let me know. This is a personal challenge to me as this involves a new fandom and a new style of writing, but I really enjoyed writing this. I've got a clear plan for this story and I might add on follow up chapters or leave it as a one-shot (If that's the case I promise I'll finish this one no walking half-way through), not sure yet.**

 **Anyway I'd really appreciate any comments to let me know how I did. Thanks you all for reading and have a nice day!**


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